I awoke to find my species has now killed of nearly 2/3 of the wildlife on this planet
The creatures that make it worthwhile to live here- my friends
to find that more ancients washed up on the shores with car parts in their bellies
to find violence against the indigenous- those who innerstand our connection to all that lives in this world
and are giving their all to protecting the elements essential to life.
It leaves me in limbo
It makes me want to leave this place, and to let Her shake us off and be done with it.
Something that I know to be true: The Universe would not present you with a conflict
which you are not able to resolve
but how do you fix a world, not passively dying of its own accord
but being continually assaulted by a species who claims to be my own, but whom I do not recognize
One who is unperturbed by violence, by taking life in order to reach its ends
I am afraid of Man.
How can I match the steps toward destruction that these individuals march aggressively and decisively toward each day?
I buy local, I recycle, I compost my waste into soil. I do not eat the flesh of other creatures
Yet it is not enough
I am confronted by the sickness of my species every day
The addiction, the knee jerk reactions of the brain, and I see the violence in my peers
In these people to whom I am incarnated to help
and I am afraid of what they are capable of
Because I have no more time to waste, being born, again a fawn in this world
Whose hourglass has been hacked, always one more grain of sand
When two thirds of my brothers and sisters are wiped from this place
When untold damage has been done to the elements and ecosystems with no arrest in sight
Perfect is a picture with all hues- light and dark
And in my microcosm I know that all is in perfect time
But would our Mother say the same? Numb and furious, cemented and afraid, robbed of so many of her children
I can't help but wonder if it is too late
But then why am I here?
This sensitive creature, non-confrontational in a construct that needs to be addressed,
that needs to be stopped
that, as far as we can see, deals only in violence
A wake of destruction and garbage
who hides their waste in the pits of the waters to suffocate our ancient ancestors
A world who still believes themselves to be alone.
Are we meant to deal with this on our own?
Or have they been oppressing you too?
Have you been trying to help this planet?
Do you understand that the acts of the loudest and most aggressive
and the inactions of the sleeping sheep
Have no jurisdiction to speak for me, for us?
I want you to know that I see.
I want desperately an end to harm.
So shall we break our backs in labor to undo what our oppressors have done?
I cannot think that is true, that is of an old mind
which has led guilt and misunderstanding to be dominated by governance
I see that this is why our technologies of peace are being oppressed
Why our solutions are being smothered
Why our devices and understanding of the laws of nature, to transmute the injustices in our environment
are frantically ignored.
They are scared too.
So what do I do?
I, the strand of mycelium, reaching far and wide, seeing with my mind
the similarities and sickness stretched upon this world
Who dares only to poke my head out from the fallen leaves
for a moment fleeting
To see if anything has changed
I must inoculate this earth
I must create sanctuary for the alliance of creatures
And my flame must create a space for the true technologies
So we can sort this mess, and so that our backs will not be broken.
If you can sense me, please know that I am sorry that I am sometimes afraid of you too
I know that you, like us, are good.
I have been fed fear and doubt, yet that is no excuse
If you are to trust that there are those of us resolved to heal this planet
Then I must trust that there are those of you that are here to help
Those of you that mean no harm
Those of you that perhaps know more of my own origins than I do.
Perhaps it is unfair to look to you for help.
Please innerstand that I do not wish for you to solve my problems
Though most days it is difficult to bear, I know that I am here in Divine Purpose.
I think I miss you
I miss the tales of Home I can no longer remember
The council of light
And still, I feel an allegiance to this planet, a fondness
And I want nothing more than to float along her rivers, to run with the hooved
To sit atop Her mountains and to wrap my arms around the ancient Oaks
I know in my heart that if there is something I can do for her, I must
And if, when it is said and done, it is leaving her to start again
I will find peace
I am sorry, truly, for those we have slain
Myself included, again and again
and now, it is not enough to kill, but to ensure that there is no place left for life.
I don't want to innerstand, though something inside of me implores me to
and every day I innerstand a little bit more
Soon, let us be in communion
My allies, my friends
I will see this destruction end.